What does the Bible really say about marriage?
Did Jesus say that even looking at a woman with lust is "adultery"?
Does Jesus teach that looking at a woman with sexual desire is committing adultery?
The Monogamy-Only Objection
In Matthew 5:28 Jesus says that if a man looks at a woman with lust, he is committing adultery. As such, a man cannot have a wife and lust after another woman, without committing adultery, therefore a man cannot take another woman to himself without committing adultery.
The Answer
As with everything, context matters. What is the context of this passage? Let's back up one verse to find out, the majority of people who use this verse as a monogamy-only proof text fail to include the verse prior to it which sets the context.
Notice the all caps, that is a direct quote from the Torah (Law) that Jesus is speaking about. So we know that we are discussing adultery, and I have laid out exactly what adultery is biblically in my article dedicated to that, please read that first and then return to this objection if you don't understand the difference between biblical adultery, and what the world defines adultery as.
If you don't get adultery right, you can't make sense of anything related to it in scripture.
The Context
Adultery: Sexual intercourse with a married or betrothed woman, a man engaged in this is an adulterer, the woman an adulteress. Adultery (biblically) requires a married woman
We cannot take verse 28 out of the context of verse 27, Jesus is teaching on the command from
and Leviticus 20:10 which states:
If adultery requires a married woman, what is Jesus saying?
Jesus taught the Torah, the Law, He didn't add to or remove from the commands of God (Deut 4:2) otherwise He would have sinned in doing so.
The Greek
To fully grasp Jesus' teaching, we need to examine the Greek words used in this passage. The word translated as "lust after" is ἐπιθυμῆσαι (epithymēsai), which comes from the root ἐπιθυμέω (epithymeō). This same word is used in Luke 22:15 when Jesus says He "earnestly desired" (or "lusted") to eat the Passover meal with His disciples.
Crucially, this word ἐπιθυμέω is also the Greek term used in the Septuagint (the Greek translation of the Old Testament) to translate the Hebrew word for "covet" in the Ten Commandments. Specifically, in Exodus 20:17, we find:
This linguistic connection reveals that Jesus isn't introducing a new teaching, but rather expounding on the existing commandment against coveting. He's emphasizing that the act of coveting - particularly coveting another man's wife - is at the heart of adultery.
Moreover, the Greek word translated as "woman" is γυναῖκα (gynaika), which is the accusative form of γυνή (gynē). This word can mean either "woman" or "wife" depending on the context. Interestingly, just a few verses later in Matthew 5:31-32, when discussing divorce, the same word γυνή is used and translated as "wife." This suggests that the translation choice in verse 28 might reflect translator bias rather than a clear distinction in the original text.
Given this linguistic and contextual evidence, a more accurate translation of Matthew 5:28 could be:
"But I say to you that everyone who looks at a wife with covetous desire for her has already committed that adultery with her in his heart."
This translation aligns more closely with the biblical definition of adultery, which involves a married woman, and better reflects the continuity of Jesus' teaching with the Torah, particularly the commandment against coveting. Jesus is not creating a new sin of "looking with lust," but rather emphasizing that the heart attitude of coveting another man's wife is the root of adultery, even before any physical act occurs.
Conclusion
When we examine Jesus' words in their proper context, considering the Greek linguistics and Torah teachings, we see a different picture than the common monogamy-only interpretation. Jesus wasn't creating a new sin, but expounding on the existing commandment against coveting another man's wife.
By using ἐπιθυμέω (epithymeō) and wife (γυνή, gynē) rather than any woman, Jesus emphasizes that adultery begins in the heart with coveting what belongs to another man. This aligns with the biblical definition of adultery and demonstrates Jesus' consistency with Torah.
Importantly, this teaching cannot be used to forbid a man from desiring or even coveting a second wife or beyond, as long as she is a marriageable woman (i.e., not already married or betrothed). The sin lies in coveting a wife who belongs to another, not in desiring multiple wives of one's own.
This interpretation maintains the integrity of biblical teachings on marriage and adultery while also preserving Jesus' role as a faithful teacher of the Torah. It reminds us to guard our hearts against coveting what isn't ours to take, without imposing unwarranted restrictions on biblical marriage practices.
The misinterpretation and false teaching of this single verse has caused immense damage among believers both men and women alike. It is used as a hammer to bludgeon Christian men who have natural God given sexual desire which is to drive them to marriage, and being fruitful. It has been used to accuse men of adultery and justify a woman divorcing him. It has been used to guilt men for having strong desire for even their own wife.
This false teaching needs to be rooted out for all of these reasons including the anti-polygyny use of it, it's wicked and it makes Jesus out to be a sinner, and a liar, when you really get down to the root of it, He was neither of those.