Rebuttal to GotQuestions.org "Does the Bible Truly Teach Monogamy?"

Examining the Claim That the Bible Mandates Monogamy

The popular Christian website GotQuestions.org presents an article titled "Does the Bible truly teach monogamy / monogamous relationships?" which argues that God's original design for marriage was exclusively monogamous. This rebuttal examines their claims in light of the full biblical witness.

The Creation Account Argument

GotQuestions begins their argument with the creation account:

"When God instituted the covenant of marriage, He designed the relationship to be monogamous. In Genesis 2:21–22, God created Adam and then formed a woman, Eve, from one of his ribs and brought her to the man. God did not create several women for Adam, which would have been helpful in fulfilling the command to populate the earth (Genesis 1:27–28)."

They further state:

"From the very beginning of the Bible, monogamy is the model."

However, this argument contains several logical flaws:

1. Descriptive vs. Prescriptive: The creation account describes the first marriage but doesn't explicitly prohibit a man from taking additional marriages on, or a man from being called to celibacy. Many biblical narratives are descriptive (telling what happened) rather than prescriptive (commanding what must be).

2. Argument from Silence: The fact that God created one woman for Adam doesn't necessarily mean He forbade multiple wives. This is an argument from silence - inferring prohibition from the absence of explicit mention. Furthermore, it contradicts later scripture which tells a man explicitly how to go about taking multiple wives righteously.

3. No Time Constraints: Adam and Eve would have been under no time constraints to "fill the earth", Eve would have never had any issues bearing children, no age, no disease, no infertility. Further, we don't know that God would not have given Adam more wives, had he proven himself capable of being the head of one, without disobeying God, which he failed to do.

The "one flesh" union described here refers to the intimate bond between a man and woman in marriage. Nothing in this text indicates that a man cannot form this bond with more than one woman, as evidenced by numerous godly men in Scripture who had multiple wives. Rachel was certainly one flesh with Jacob, there is nothing in scripture to indicate she was considered anything other than his wife, along with Leah, and his two concubines/wives Zilpah and Bilhah.

God the Father a violated His own "ideal"?

The word of God does not contradict itself. Christ was not a sinner but perfectly obeyed the Law, and God Himself did not set an evil example for His Son and His children. The Son did not come to condemn and correct the Father's example by teaching that polygyny is wrong and monogamy is the highest "ideal".

In Ezekiel 23, God allegorically portrays Himself as married to two sisters from the same mother:

God uses this powerful allegory of Himself having two wives that became His, and bore sons and daughters (representing the kingdoms of Israel and Judah) to illustrate His relationship with His people. If polygyny were inherently sinful, God would never use it as a metaphor for His own relationship with His people, as He cannot associate Himself with sin. This divine imagery powerfully demonstrates that polygyny cannot be categorically condemned as sinful.

Remember when you claim Christ has only "one bride" (not true) and that is why monogamy is the standard, you are pitting the Son against the Father, claiming the Son had to come along and set straight the poor example the Father set by having two brides, allegorically.

Condemning Celibacy

If we accept that Adam and Eve are the model for all mankind accross all time, we also must logically conclude that celibacy is a violation of this model as well as polygyny. God did say "it is not good that the man should be alone" (Genesis 2:18) while never saying a man taking multiple wives is not good. However we know from further scripture that celibacy, for those who are called, is in fact good.

We cannot logically conclude that celibacy is wrong, or that polygyny is wrong, as both are exampled throughout scripture, and neither are condemned by God. We have to be consistent in our application of God's law, you cannot applaud those who are called to celibacy while condemning those who are called to covering more than one woman. If 10 men are called to celibacy in your congregation, will there not be some women who will be left without a husband if we don't allow polygyny?

Do we see a widespread problem in the churches of women who can't find godly covering (husbands)? Take a look around.

The Alleged Problems of Polygyny in Scripture

GotQuestions acknowledges the prevalence of polygyny in the Old Testament but dismisses it as problematic:

"The Old Testament is rife with examples of people abandoning monogamy. Many patriarchs and kings had multiple wives. Even David and Solomon, God's chosen leaders, multiplied wives over the course of their reigns, and the Bible is strangely silent about this apparent breach of godliness."

They go on to claim:

"In every biblical account of men having multiple wives, there is conflict. Families not based on a monogamous relationship paid a price."

The article then lists examples of conflicts in polygynous households:

"Abraham, Sarah, and Hagar were the first 'love triangle' gone bad—jealousy arose when the younger Hagar became pregnant when the older Sarah could not (Genesis 16:1–5). Rachel and Leah vied for Jacob's affection, which led to bringing in servant girls to be their husband's concubines (Genesis 30). The prophet Samuel was born into a household where his mother Hannah was constantly provoked by her husband's other wife, Peninnah (1 Samuel 1:4–6)."

Note the use of "servant girls" in this article, which is a very subtle way of framing the marriages as inherently wrong with regard to Zilpah and Bilhah, the scriptures never refer to them as girls. These were marriagable women of child bearing age. The writer could have said maid, maidservant, concubine, wife, women, etc, but chose a term that would make the marriages look bad in our modern eyes, in an article that is trying to convince the reader that what God allows is evil, I don't believe this is a coincedence.

Moving on, these arguments are problematic for several reasons:

1. Correlation vs. Causation: The Bible also records numerous problems in monogamous marriages (like Adam and Eve, who's son was the first known murderer by killing his brother), but we don't conclude monogamy is wrong. What is the current divorce rate among monogamous Christians? Do we have a Christian marriage counseling industry for no reason?

2. Sin vs. Structure: The problems often stemmed from sin (favoritism, jealousy) within the marriage structure, not the structure itself. How many polygynous families in scripture ended in divorce, can you name one? How many Christians do you know today who are divorced or divorcing? If monogamy is the model, why does it also fail? Because sin causes problems, we should blame the sin, not the circumstances. In each of the biblical accounts GotQuestions is pointing to, you can point to the sin of the women involved, but they are blaming polygyny in order to let the women off the hook for their actual sin.

3. God's Blessing: Many polygynous families in Scripture received God's blessing. Jacob's twelve sons from four women became the twelve tribes of Israel, God's chosen people. His twelve son's names will be eternally glorified on the gates of the new Jerusalem. Clearly they were not illegitimate, which means the marriages were legitimate.

4. Selective Examples: The article ignores examples of apparently harmonious polygynous marriages or those explicitly blessed by God. Do you have any record of any struggles in Joash's family with his 2 wives? 2 Chronicles 24. Did you know that the "strife" between Hannah and Penniah doesn't exist in the LXX Septuagint but only came about in later translations? Either way you slice it, the problems we see in some polygynous families, aren't anything we don't see in monogamous ones.

Are monogamous Christian wives really never jealous of anyone? Be honest.

Most significantly, the article fails to address that God Himself gave David multiple wives:

Would God give David something that was inherently sinful? Would He offer to give him "many more" of something that violated His own design?

The Law of Moses and Polygyny

GotQuestions states:

"Deuteronomy 17:17 specifically prohibits the accumulation of wives by the kings of Israel."

This is a misrepresentation of the text. Let's examine what Deuteronomy 17:17 actually says:

This passage doesn't prohibit polygyny itself but warns against excessive multiplication of wives that might turn the king's heart away from God. The concern is not the number of wives but the potential for spiritual corruption, especially through foreign wives who might introduce idolatry (as happened with Solomon). If God wanted to limit a man to one wife, He could have explictly done that, the Hebrew word for "multiply" means a great abundance, not "no more than one".

Deut 17:16 also forbids kings from multiplying horses, are Christian men with more than one horse also sinful in this regard? Be consistent.

Furthermore, rather than prohibiting polygyny, the Law of Moses (God's ways) regulated it:

The Levirate marriage law also required a man to marry his brother's widow, regardless of whether he was already married:

Jesus and Monogamy

GotQuestions claims Jesus taught monogamy:

By New Testament times, monogamy was the norm in Jewish culture. Jesus taught monogamy.

This is flat out false, there are plenty of historical records to indicate that polygyny was still common and practiced among Jews at the time of Jesus. Though Roman rule had forbid legal polygyny for a long time prior to Christ, the Jewish people still practiced it and were generally allowed to do so, and they did for quite some time after Christ as well. Enforced monogamy is a Roman custom, not a biblical one. Jesus did not teach enforced monogamy, to do so would be to condemn the Father who described Himself as a polygynous Husband to Israel and Judah. This statement in it of itself accuses Christ of being a sinner by violating Deut 4:2, adding and removing from the commands of God.

Monogamy and Polygyny aren't biblical terms or concepts, as a reminder. The bible refers to marriage, and a man having multiple marriages. There is no functional difference between a man with 1 wife or 5, he is a man who has one woman, or a man who has 5 women. A shepherd can have 1 sheep, or 100, he's still a shepherd. A rancher can have 1 cow, or 100, and he's still a rancher.

"When Jesus was asked about divorce, His answer strongly implied that marriage is between one man and one woman, with no hint of polygamy: 'But at the beginning of creation God "made them male and female." For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.' So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate' (Mark 10:6–9)."

The article further states:

"When Jesus says that the 'two shall become one flesh,' the obvious implication is that this union is between two individuals only. It's not three or more that become one; only two become one."

However, Jesus was addressing divorce, or more precisely putting away wives, not polygyny, which requires keeping wives. His emphasis was on the permanence of marriage, not how many marriages a man has at a time. If Jesus intended to condemn polygyny, this would have been the perfect opportunity, yet He remained silent on the issue. It is clear that polygyny is lawful, Jesus would be violating Deut 4:2 if He tried to make it unlawful, or sin. He would also be condemning the Father who allegorically took two wives, which you can see in Ezekiel 23, Jeremiah 3, 31 and other places. Do you believe Jesus went around condemning or correcting the Father?

Something else to note, is that if you believe He did in fact condemn or outlaw polygyny, where are His instructions on what to do with already polygynous families? Or what to do about families we convert from other culture/religions with multiple wives? He is silent on that, leaving us to "figure it out". What has happened historically is that missionaries have destroyed families, villages, and communities by forcing converts to divorce their wives, destroying family under the guise of doing what is "righteous", condemning what was never condemned by God, calling evil, that which is good. This causes immorality, especially for the women who are put away, forcing them into adultery, or prostitution to survive. This is what Jesus was talking about when He rebuked the men for putting the women away for any reason at all, the guilt of their adultery is on the man's head who put them away without cause.

Jesus quotes Genesis to emphasize the permanence of the marriage bond, not to establish a new limitation on how many marriages a man could have at once. The phrase "the two shall become one flesh" describes the nature of each marriage bond, not a limitation on the number of such bonds a man may form. Each marriage creates a "one flesh" relationship between the husband and that particular wife. Paul says in 1 Corinthians 6 that a prostitute or harlot is one flesh with every man that she lies with, so clearly it is not limited to one.

New Testament Qualifications for Leaders

GotQuestions points to Paul's instructions:

"In fact, when Paul gives explicit commands about marriage, he references the passage about being 'one flesh' and compares it to Christ and His bride, the church (Ephesians 5:32). He concludes by instructing a husband to love his wife as he loves himself (verse 33). He does not tell a husband to 'love all your wives.' The word wife is singular."

The article fails to mention that Paul's instructions about church leadership specifically require elders and deacons to be "husbands of one wife" (1 Timothy 3:2, 12). If we take this to be about polygyny, this qualification would be unnecessary if polygyny was already forbidden for all Christians.

1. Singular vs Plural - This is another logical fallacy, to claim that because Paul used "wife" rather than "wives" means he is enforcing monogamy is simply foolish. We don't think we are limited to loving one neighbor as ourselves because it says neighbor in the singular, we don't think we can only discipline one of our sons because it says son in the singular. Instructions for a wife, singular, will be applied to every wife a man has, whether 1 or 5 or 10. GotQuestions.org is inadvertently advising men to not love their wives, but only one, for those who already have them by the way they framed this, do you think that's what God calls them to do?

2. Leadership Qualification vs. Universal Requirement: These passages specifically address qualifications for church leadership, not requirements for all believers. Levitical high priests were also restricted to marrying only virgins. They were not allowed to marry widows, while the lower priests could marry widows and virgins. Does that mean we should aim to be like a high priest and forsake widows? Obviously not as Paul instructs the younger widows to remarry, God is quite vocal throughout scripture on protecting the widows, and His law requires it in some cases as we mentioned earlier. Do you see the contradictions the enforced monogamy position creates?

3. Literal Translation: The Greek phrase is "mias gunaikos andra" which literally means "a one-woman man" which I believe is referring to marital faithfulness, not a numeric limitation. The NIV/NLT translate these passages to "faithful to his wife". A man can be faithful to many wives, just as God is faithful to all of us. A man who is faithful to 4 wives (keeping his covenants) is more qualified to lead an assembly than a man with one wife who has put her away unlawfully.

4. Historical Context: If polygyny was widespread and sinful, we would expect explicit condemnation, yet the New Testament never directly addresses it as sin. In Greek culture of the day, a man who was married and sleeping around on the side was not uncommon, Paul indicating that he needs to be a sexually pure (only having sex with women who belong to him) man would have been elevating the standards of the day.

Conclusion: What Does the Bible Actually Teach?

GotQuestions concludes:

"Scripture does not directly address the practice of polygamy in the Old Testament, but God's original intent for marriage was clearly monogamy. The Bible shows the result of having multiple wives, and it never presents polygamy in a positive light. Marriage is to be a picture of the covenant Christ has with His church (2 Corinthians 11:2), a picture that fits well with God's plan that marriage is for one man and one woman for life."

However, this conclusion is not supported by a comprehensive reading of Scripture:

1. God regulated polygyny in His Law rather than prohibiting it.
2. God did not tell us His intent for all men across all time was monogamy, otherwise celibacy is condemned as well
3. God blessed many polygynous families throughout Scripture.
4. God Himself gave David multiple wives and offered more.
5. The "church" is made up of a multitude of members that Christ is the head of, functionally, that's polygynous not monogamous.
6. God Himself exampled polygyny for us by allegorically marrying two sisters from the same mother (Israel and Judah).
7. No polygynous man in Scripture was ever called to repentance specifically for having multiple wives.
8. Isaiah 4 which is yet future prophecy says that 7 women grabbing ahold of 1 man begging for his name takes away their reproach. How can polygyny take away reproach if it's evil?

While monogamy may be preferable to some, and is certainly the norm in modern Western society, we must be careful not to impose our cultural preferences onto Scripture. The Bible presents a more nuanced view of marriage than many modern interpretations acknowledge.

The claim that God's design was exclusively monogamous cannot be substantiated from Scripture alone. It requires reading modern assumptions back into the text rather than allowing Scripture to speak for itself. We are called to be transformed by the word, not transform it to us.

As believers, we should strive to understand what the Bible actually teaches rather than what we might prefer it to teach based on our cultural conditioning. Enforced legal monogamy is a quintessentially Greco/Roman concept, not a biblical one.

This is one of the most popular articles that people gravitate to when searching to refute the claim that polygyny, or a man having multiple marriages, is righteous. This article, as I have shown in this rebuttal, uses fallacies, appeals to emotion, tradition, and rampant eisegesis (reading into the text) in order to make their case, hopefully this rebuttal to it will help people see the holes in their arguments, and study the scriptures themselves to see what God's word actually says.

I have studied this particular topic for quite some time, and I have yet to see a single article, commentary, or debate on the monogamy only side make a solid case from scripture against it, I don't believe I ever will, because after starting this journey on that side, and studying diligently, I have found the monogamy only position cannot be defended from scripture without causing major contradictions and conflicts, and that is not a position I am willing to stand on, no one should be.

May Yah bless you in your walk and grant you wisdom and discernment.